Rev'd 1: "Jim, always preaching hellfire and brimstone from the pulpit, and calling down fire upon the sinners in the congregation, was never wise to the fact that his stole (whilst having the three-in-one symbol of the Holy Trinity on his stole) sported the latest crop-circle design just discovered at Farmer Brown's 100-hectare farm down the street from St-Joan-of-Arc where the Rev Jim served as pastor.
"Thus sadly, the Rev could never catch the joke of the parishioners headed out the door, when they shook his hand, and complemented him on his sermon, "Rev Jim, that sermon was out-of-this-world!"
Rev'd 2: "The Rev Becky Blumhardt was quite the hit in the smalltown of Newburgh, Illinois. She was the first female pastor of The Holy Church of Luther, a mid-sized Lutheran church in farm country.
The Rev Becky fancied herself as quite hip: Sporting a gap in her teeth, she reveled in her self-estimation as Newburgh's own version of Sandra Bernhard, quondam pal of Madonna; sadly however, the Rev Becky's stole registered only two things that Pentecost Sunday when Lester McPherson, disenchanted Illinois DOT worker came to church:--the orange colour of her stole and the fire licking the orb at the orb's bottom.
"Lester could only fixate on the orange colour as the colour of those damned orange traffic barrels that had wrecked his love of women, and fire, for it was fire that Lester saw as the end of his hellish world and those loathsome, damned orange barrels.
"Lester's sole recourse was 'to put out the fire' that Sunday, which meant, as well, the Rev Becky's sad demise, and the end of the Holy Church of Luther's only female, Sandra Bernhard-look-alike pastor."
10 comments:
Ms Reverend sure has nice nails.
Rev'd 1: "Jim, always preaching hellfire and brimstone from the pulpit, and calling down fire upon the sinners in the congregation, was never wise to the fact that his stole (whilst having the three-in-one symbol of the Holy Trinity on his stole) sported the latest crop-circle design just discovered at Farmer Brown's 100-hectare farm down the street from St-Joan-of-Arc where the Rev Jim served as pastor.
"Thus sadly, the Rev could never catch the joke of the parishioners headed out the door, when they shook his hand, and complemented him on his sermon, "Rev Jim, that sermon was out-of-this-world!"
Rev'd 2: "The Rev Becky Blumhardt was quite the hit in the smalltown of Newburgh, Illinois. She was the first female pastor of The Holy Church of Luther, a mid-sized Lutheran church in farm country.
The Rev Becky fancied herself as quite hip: Sporting a gap in her teeth, she reveled in her self-estimation as Newburgh's own version of Sandra Bernhard, quondam pal of Madonna; sadly however, the Rev Becky's stole registered only two things that Pentecost Sunday when Lester McPherson, disenchanted Illinois DOT worker came to church:--the orange colour of her stole and the fire licking the orb at the orb's bottom.
"Lester could only fixate on the orange colour as the colour of those damned orange traffic barrels that had wrecked his love of women, and fire, for it was fire that Lester saw as the end of his hellish world and those loathsome, damned orange barrels.
"Lester's sole recourse was 'to put out the fire' that Sunday, which meant, as well, the Rev Becky's sad demise, and the end of the Holy Church of Luther's only female, Sandra Bernhard-look-alike pastor."
"Here endeth the story."
Amen!
Reverend #1 looks a bit off kilter by the weight of the trinity rings. If he thinks to add the rest from the olympics, would he fall over completely?
Reverend #2, I just have to ask if her stole represents the fire down below? And I'm not exactly talking about Hell.
god love 'em.
Rawr. Foxy.
Hahaha.... :)
Lutherans!
I think some Divine intervention would have been appropriate in these cases.
What I want to know is this- what exactly was Mrs Rev *doing* with that ugly stick while this photo was being taken?
Its a fair question.
Ghastly!!!!!!!!
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