Again, the genius of Olan Mills. If your son is unable to smile and wears a tie pin at age 11, Olan brings a far more photogenic kid out of his storage locker to pose with him. Years later, your son makes up some awkward story about an accident at a cracker factory to explain to his bride-to-be why she's never met his younger brother.
There's a good reason why the blond kid has such an odd look on his face in the second picture.
The photographer, Mr. Olan Mills, kept trying to make big brother crack a smile for the camera. Olan would tell dumb jokes, make faces, and nothing worked on big bro. But little brother, who needed little provocation to laugh, kept busting out, ruining the shots, until he finally bucked up and bit down as hard as he could on the inside of his mouth. I can still taste the blood, thinking about it. Because I WAS THAT KID.
And no, Tagg, I wasn't yanked out of some storage locker to pose with random laughter-challenged kinders. Although that would have been a pretty cool job for a nine year old.
neal snow - thanks for providing the back story. Now, can you explain Mr. Olan Mills' (and his minions') strange ability to make it look as though the two people in the photo are about a mile apart? The perspective in the Library shot is mind-boggling!
"Blondie calls the shots now, motherfucker! You hear me?! Blondie calls the shots! You want me to rain on your goddman parade, big brother? You want me to tell mom and dad where you stash your nudie magazines? Do you? Well, then you do as I say, get me?! Good. Soon as this dickhead takes these pictures, you're buying me a Happy Meal and shining my shoes. Now smile. I SAID SMILE!"
Dont you wish I were? Darling, what do you mean? What will the public think? But suppose I slipped up? She looked at him, not understanding. I was not consulted about that statement! There are practically no private research foundations any longer. They made a strange choice of studies.
Even if she was a disappointment—no, a torture—to them, they remained a comfort for her. He waited for Irin to stand, then did so himself, water sluicing off him. A little while ago. She slumped down on the pillow beside Irin, gazing morosely at the gathering below. Then she opened her eyes. Miraculously, no one seemed to notice. Sitting up, she rubbed her hands. He bent his legs underneath her arms, drawing her tighter to his groin. She clung to him, wordless in the flood of emotion that took her. Eyrhaen took a deep breath, chiding herself not to be weak. She barely restrained the urge to push up and seal her lips to his. Stubbornly, she refused to cower into the wall behind her. Would you let me go? Brevin licked the point of Tykirs ear. Whispering low in the smaller mans ear, he pulled Tykir away. Does it help if I tell you I love you? Theres no reason I should flourish. She couldnt help her smile. Her race was born to breed. Before he was done, she reached down with her free hand to palm his cock.
61 comments:
ventriloquist?
OOOoo! the blonde is so sassy!
W H Y? Would you make your child wear glasses like that?
Wow, younger brother is not messing around with that collar.
Although I love the blond kid's face in the second pic, overall I favor the first photo.
the kid in the glasses is obv a pimp-in-training...
Starring Heino Jr. as The Puppet Master!
I bet the blond kid gets alot of pussay.
That's the young Clark Kent!
bitches are business
The blond is so whoring the tall boy...
the blonde is practicing for a his future running the cassio in Reno with Nick Papageorgio
Big brother looks like Christopher Reeve. Little brother looks like he watched too many blaxploitation movies.
The blonde's facial expression in the second pic rocks!I bet he's total coolness now!
Yeah Baby!!!
these kids actually look kind of awesome to me!
Again, the genius of Olan Mills. If your son is unable to smile and wears a tie pin at age 11, Olan brings a far more photogenic kid out of his storage locker to pose with him. Years later, your son makes up some awkward story about an accident at a cracker factory to explain to his bride-to-be why she's never met his younger brother.
Praise be to Olan M.
i am in love with these kids. the blonde one in particular.
There's a good reason why the blond kid has such an odd look on his face in the second picture.
The photographer, Mr. Olan Mills, kept trying to make big brother crack a smile for the camera. Olan would tell dumb jokes, make faces, and nothing worked on big bro. But little brother, who needed little provocation to laugh, kept busting out, ruining the shots, until he finally bucked up and bit down as hard as he could on the inside of his mouth. I can still taste the blood, thinking about it. Because I WAS THAT KID.
And no, Tagg, I wasn't yanked out of some storage locker to pose with random laughter-challenged kinders. Although that would have been a pretty cool job for a nine year old.
there's no way blonde kid isn't a pimp right now.
That's Truman Capote's son by artificial insemination, I swear!
I am in love with Phoebe Marie's breasts.
neal snow - thanks for providing the back story. Now, can you explain Mr. Olan Mills' (and his minions') strange ability to make it look as though the two people in the photo are about a mile apart? The perspective in the Library shot is mind-boggling!
I recognize both backdrops! My cousin has a baby picture with Nature, and I have a preschool picture with Library.
I love neal snow.
The little one looks like a little blond Jarvis Cocker.
That's cool.
I'm pretty sure in the second photo, the blond kid just got done saying, "When I say Sharp, I mean business!"
Is it me, or does the blond haired kid look like he's squeezing out a fart in both pics?
Michael said...
"Is it me, or does the blond haired kid look like he's squeezing out a fart in both pics?"
Y'know, I can't rightly remember. I'll have to say "probably".
The younger one HAS to be Chuck Klosterman...
Eli and Peyton Manning - the early years.
The blond kid went on to sing for a band called Pulp.
The kid in the back looks absolutely fightening! Like a possesed little child.
These portraits are too cool to be on this website. They are aesthetically pleasing. Choices were made, and they were the right choices.
The older one has a nice dirt 'stache on the upper lip. He probably thought it would disappear if he smiled.
"Blondie calls the shots now, motherfucker! You hear me?! Blondie calls the shots! You want me to rain on your goddman parade, big brother? You want me to tell mom and dad where you stash your nudie magazines? Do you? Well, then you do as I say, get me?! Good. Soon as this dickhead takes these pictures, you're buying me a Happy Meal and shining my shoes. Now smile. I SAID SMILE!"
who knew that jason bateman and jarvis cocker knew each other?
the small Guy has an IQ of 147 !
Older brother looks kinda hot...
(hey, don't judge me!)
1981? - That can't be right. Ives Saint Laurent was a grown man at that time.
Blonde kid is all, "Do I make you randy? Do I?"
Is that blond kid a 10 year old Roy Orbison?
That blond kid does my taxes, and pretty creatively I might add.
In a few years, the two of them will make a perfect sleeve for a technopop album.
These kids look like they're related to Wes Andersen's Tenenbaums.
I just saw the library pic on Awkward Family Photos.
Big brother looks like a cardboard cut-out.
Jason Bateman? Roy Orbison?!? Not hardly. It's Jake Gyllenhaal and Nick Rhodes.
brown hair: oh my gosh, i may get laid tonight ....
blond hair: i got a bitch blowing me right now
Big brother looks like a young Steve Martin.
Little brother looks like Kitty Kelly from "Dark Night Returns"
If the Pet Shop Boys were Mormon...
I bet they grew up to be awesome. I'm in love with them!
They look like the best newscasting team ever.
Neal Snow you aren't that kid. Those 2 boys are my cousins. (my mothers sisters children.) Don't believe me? They have a big sister.
Patrick Swayze?
Timeless combovers are timeless.
The blonde = mini Warhol.
When did Phil Spector have a love child?
Good fill someone in on and this enter helped me alot in my college assignement. Gratefulness you for your information.
Dont you wish I were? Darling, what do you mean? What will the public think? But suppose I slipped up? She looked at him, not understanding. I was not consulted about that statement! There are practically no private research foundations any longer. They made a strange choice of studies.
Even if she was a disappointment—no, a torture—to them, they remained a comfort for her. He waited for Irin to stand, then did so himself, water sluicing off him. A little while ago. She slumped down on the pillow beside Irin, gazing morosely at the gathering below. Then she opened her eyes. Miraculously, no one seemed to notice. Sitting up, she rubbed her hands. He bent his legs underneath her arms, drawing her tighter to his groin. She clung to him, wordless in the flood of emotion that took her. Eyrhaen took a deep breath, chiding herself not to be weak. She barely restrained the urge to push up and seal her lips to his. Stubbornly, she refused to cower into the wall behind her. Would you let me go? Brevin licked the point of Tykirs ear. Whispering low in the smaller mans ear, he pulled Tykir away. Does it help if I tell you I love you? Theres no reason I should flourish. She couldnt help her smile. Her race was born to breed. Before he was done, she reached down with her free hand to palm his cock.
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